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I presented to the executive leadership team. And they completely ignored me.
One was scrolling on her phone. Two others were whispering back and forth to each other. A couple were looking blankly in my direction while another got up to get coffee.
It was pretty rude, to be honest.
A week later, I ran into the HR manager who'd been in the room. She complimented me on the report and asked me to send her a copy.
Then she paused and said she'd noticed most of the folks in the room weren't paying attention to me.
"You've got to figure out a way to make them listen to you. Get better presence. Make them remember you."
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Then she walked away.
I was left puzzled. I can't MAKE people listen to me or remember me. I'm not a magician. What was I supposed to do with that feedback?
Sound familiar?
Your boss tells you that you need "more executive presence" but won't define what that actually means. It feels like code for something they can't articulate. You don't know what to improve because the feedback is so vague.
You watch others get promoted for having "it" while you're left guessing what "it" even is.
Here's the truth: Most managers use "executive presence" as a catch-all for feedback they don't know how to give.
They can sense something is off, but they can't pinpoint what it is. So they throw out this meaningless phrase and leave you to figure it out.
It wasn't until years later that I stumbled onto the real answer. Completely by accident.
I was about 5 years into my corporate career and frankly, I was done. I started job hunting. Having one foot out the door changed everything.
Somehow, the stakes were lowered for me…well, at least in my mind. I had permission to "not care."
And by not caring about impressing everyone, I shifted my energy from "I'm just a lowly analyst who's afraid of my own shadow" to "I belong here."
Everything changed. People started listening. I got invited to bigger meetings. My opinions carried weight.
Spoiler alert: I stayed 10 more years until I was ready to start my own business.
Here's what executive presence actually is (and it's not what your boss thinks):
What your boss thinks it means:
Speak louder
Be more confident
Command the room
Have a bigger personality
What it actually means:
Internal permission to take up space - You believe you belong in every room you're in
Energy alignment - Your energy matches the value you bring
Assumption of competence - You assume people want to hear what you have to say
Comfortable with your own authority - You don't apologize for having opinions
The framework for developing real executive presence:
1. Check your energy before you speak Ask yourself: "Am I speaking from a place of apology or authority?" If you're apologizing for taking up time/space, people will treat you accordingly.
2. Assume your audience wants to hear from you Stop prefacing everything with "This might be wrong, but..." or "I'm not sure if this makes sense..." You were invited to speak. Act like it.
3. Take up the space you're given If you have 15 minutes to present, use all 15 minutes. Don't rush through your content because you're afraid of boring people.
4. Match your energy to your expertise If you're the expert on the topic, your energy should reflect that. Don't shrink to make others comfortable.
How to get specific feedback when someone says you need "more executive presence":
Script 1: "Can you give me three specific examples of what executive presence looks like in our organization?"
Script 2: "What would I need to do differently in meetings for you to see improvement in this area?"
Script 3: "Who in our company do you think demonstrates strong executive presence? What specifically do they do that I should emulate?"
Script 4: "I want to make sure I understand. Are you saying I need to change how I communicate, how I present myself, or something else?"
Force them to get specific. Vague feedback deserves clarifying questions.
This week's strategically selfish challenge:
If you've been told you need "more executive presence," use one of the scripts above to get specific feedback.
If you haven't received this feedback, practice the energy shift: Walk into your next meeting assuming people want to hear what you have to say.
The bottom line:
Executive presence isn't about being louder or more charismatic. It's about giving yourself permission to belong in every room you're in.
Your expertise got you the seat at the table. Your energy determines whether people listen once you're there.
What room do you need to show up differently in this week?
Hit reply and let me know. I read every email.
Keep up the momentum,
Cassie
P.S. That energy shift that happened when I was job hunting? It wasn't magic. It was permission. Permission to stop apologizing for my expertise and start owning it. You don't need one foot out the door to give yourself that same permission.