In partnership with
Your boss asked for updates. You gave updates. Now they're using your transparency as ammunition to criticize every move you make.
You’re not imagining it.
One of my clients recently said this to me:
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“My boss is a micromanager.
Everyone says to overcommunicate.
But no matter how much I communicate, I don’t earn trust.
It feels less like transparency and more like giving them ammunition.”
If you’ve ever had a boss who turns every update into a dramatic event, you know that sinking feeling.
So let’s tackle the tough questions on micromanagers:
Does overcommunication actually help with a micromanager
Does it build trust
What if it never builds trust
What if their reactions are so exaggerated that communicating feels risky
Most leadership advice treats micromanagement as a puzzle.
They’re operating from fear.
And fear behaves very differently.
It distorts perception.
It exaggerates threats.
It sees risk where none exists.
When someone is in a chronic state of internal alarm, no amount of communication creates safety.
Because the problem isn’t information.
It’s their internal chemistry.
This is where the “overcommunicate” advice falls apart.
What People Get Wrong About Micromanagers
There are two types, borrowing from Chris Voss’s (author of Never Split the Difference) language:
ELFs
Easygoing
Logical
Friendly
These bosses calm down with information.
HALFs
Hostile
Anxious
Likely to overreact
Fear-driven
These bosses escalate with more information.
So, when does overcommunication actually help?
Only when the micromanager’s anxiety is tied to uncertainty, not control.
If their fear is “I don’t know what’s going on,” overcommunication brings calm.
If their fear is “I must control every detail,” overcommunication inflames the fear.
Because now they have:
More details to scrutinize
More scenarios to catastrophize
More opportunities to intervene
If overcommunication has never earned trust, your boss is in category two.
(And you’re not imagining it.)
Why Overcommunication Fails with Some Bosses
When a micromanager’s nervous system is overwhelmed or dysregulated, transparency does not create trust.
It creates vulnerability.
Not your vulnerability
Theirs.
They fear being blindsided.
They fear not being in control.
They fear being responsible if something goes wrong.
They soothe themselves through scrutiny.
This is why your updates feel like ammunition.
They’re not looking for partnership.
They’re scanning for threats.
And you can’t build trust with someone who is scanning you for danger.
So what do you do instead?
This is where the 8 tactics I shared on LinkedIn come in. These are about rerouting the boss’s anxiety AWAY from you.
I’m going to focus now on the one that I believe will get you the most immediate relief: the Document Shield.
The Plan:
Stop giving verbal updates. Start using a shared document.
Here's exactly how:
Create a simple Google or One Drive Doc titled "[Your Name] - Weekly Progress"
Every Friday at 3pm, update it with:
What you completed this week (3 bullets max)
What you're working on next week (3 bullets max)
Any blockers (1-2 max)
Send one email: "Weekly update posted in our shared doc"
The document has no feelings. You do. Let them interrogate the document, not you.
This works because it shifts their anxiety target from you (unpredictable, emotional) to a document (predictable, neutral). HALFs need something to monitor.
Give them pixels instead of your peace.
Get your Document shield up by Friday. (And in next week’s article I’ll share more on how to make yourself "boring" to a drama-seeking boss.)
If you’re thinking “I need someone to help me map MY situation to the right tactic”… I built something for you.
You’re getting a full AI prompt today that acts like a personalized managing-up strategist.
It helps you identify:
• Which category your boss fits
• What psychological pattern is driving their behavior
• Which tactic you should use first
• The words to say
• Likely outcomes
• Red flags
• How to protect your energy while you plan your next move
Here’s a link to a Google Doc with the 2 complete prompts (one for ChatGPT and one for CoPilot). Get it here
One last thing
If overcommunication hasn’t helped you…
If you’ve been punished for transparency…
If every update inflates their anxiety instead of calming it…
You’re not doing anything wrong.
You’re not failing at communication.
You’re dealing with someone whose inner world is inflamed.
And your job right now isn’t to fix them.
It’s to protect you.
Try the AI prompt.
Reply and tell me what insights you get.
I read every message!
With you,
Cassie 🌻