I’ve never loved advice that starts and ends with:
Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Not because the labels are useless.
But because they’re incomplete.

They turn something dynamic into something fixed.
They turn energy into identity.

Here’s what often gets missed:

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Energy is contextual.

The most extroverted person will withdraw in a toxic environment.
The most introverted person will open up in a space that feels safe, aligned, and purposeful.

That doesn’t mean they changed.
It means the environment did.

Introversion isn’t shyness.
Quiet isn’t insecurity.
And extroversion isn’t unlimited capacity.

Most of us sit on a spectrum and move along it depending on:

• psychological safety
• purpose
• cognitive dissonance
• how much of ourselves we’re allowed to bring to the work

What matters more than labeling yourself is becoming self-aware.

Let me show you what I mean with a real example from my own career.

I once worked on a large corporate team that looked functional on paper.

There were smart people.
Strong résumés.
Plenty of surface-level professionalism.

There were also toxic undertones.

A social clique that dominated conversations.
A manager who was unpredictable. One day friendly, the next lashing out.
Team leads who competed with each other in a crush-the-enemy way, not a move-the-team-forward way.

In that environment, my energy shifted.

I stopped speaking up in meetings.
I stayed in my workstation.
I kept my head down and laid low.

Not because I lacked ideas.
Because safety mattered more than expression.

People noticed.

I was often told, “You’re so quiet.”

At the same time, I was discreetly working to transfer to another team.

When that finally happened, it was night and day.

The new team was supportive and cohesive.
Discussions were productive.
Collaboration was real.

I spoke up constantly.
I contributed everywhere.
I became a core part of the group.

Later, during a performance review, my new manager had to collect feedback from my previous boss.

He laughed when he told me what she said.

“She told me you were too quiet and needed to contribute more,” he said.
“I ignored it. You’re one of the most engaged people on this team.”

Same person.
Same skills.
Same brain.

Completely different energy.

That’s when it clicked for me:

Labels don’t always describe who you are.
Sometimes they describe the environment you were surviving.

Yes, you can only control yourself.
But don’t be too quick to identify with labels formed during self-protection.

Many environments push people into survival mode.
That version of you is not your best one.

It’s data to interpret

When people don’t understand their energy, they turn it inward.

What’s wrong with me?
Why can’t I show up like everyone else?
Why does this feel so hard?

But once you stop treating energy as a personality flaw, it becomes one of your most useful career tools.

Self-awareness lets you notice patterns instead of judging yourself.

You start to see:
• where your energy feels steady instead of forced
• what drains you fastest and why
• when stretching is growth and when it’s self-erosion

This is the shift from “What’s wrong with me?”
to “What is this situation asking of me?”

High performers who grow sustainably don’t fight their energy.

They design around it.

They choose environments where they can do their best work.
They prepare for energy-expensive situations instead of being blindsided by them.
They stop shrinking or overperforming to fit a label that never fit in the first place.

Your energy isn’t something to fix.

It’s information.

And learning how to read it is one of the most underrated career skills there is.

Growth doesn’t always start with becoming more.
Sometimes it starts with realizing you were surviving.

To your momentum!

Cassie

A self-protection vs self-expression clarity prompt

If you’ve ever struggled to articulate whether your behavior reflects who you are or how you’re coping, this prompt is designed to help you separate the two without self-blame.

You can use this in ChatGPT or Microsoft Copilot. Copy and paste everything between “Start Prompt” and “End Prompt.”

Start prompt

Role:
You are a workplace psychologist and career coach who helps professionals distinguish between personality traits and adaptive behaviors created by unsafe or misaligned environments.

Context:
I’m questioning whether my behavior at work reflects who I truly am or whether it’s a response to my environment. I want clarity without self-judgment.

Instructions:
Ask me the following questions one at a time, waiting for my answer before continuing:

After I respond, please:
• identify which behaviors are driven by self-protection
• identify which behaviors are driven by self-expression
• explain what environmental conditions activate each
• point out which labels may not reflect my true strengths

End with two short sections titled:
“What This Says About Me”
“What This Says About My Environment”

Use calm, validating language. Avoid pathologizing or moralizing any behavior.

End prompt